Written by Janine Appleby / Early childhood teacher
We are committed to creating a safe, inclusive, and respectful environment where every child feels valued, supported, and accepted. Children are still learning how to understand emotions, build friendships, communicate needs, and regulate their behaviour. During these important learning years, all children will make mistakes, experience big feelings, and need guidance from caring adults.
Children learn from adults
Children often develop their attitudes, beliefs, and responses by observing the adults around them. The language we use, the way we speak about others, and how we respond to challenging situations can influence how children view and treat their peers.
When children hear negative comments, blame, exclusion, or judgement about another child, they may begin to copy these attitudes in their own play and relationships. This can sometimes lead to exclusion, misunderstanding, or difficulties building empathy and respectful relationships.
As educators and families, we share a responsibility to model kindness, inclusion, patience, and understanding.
Understanding behaviour
At times, children may react physically, struggle with social interactions, or find it difficult to regulate their emotions during play. This does not make them a “bad child,” nor does it mean they should be excluded from the group.
There are many reasons why a child may find certain situations challenging, including:
- Developmental delays
- Communication difficulties
- Emotional regulation challenges
- Sensory needs
- Trauma or stressful life experiences
- Anxiety or difficulty with transitions
- Learning social skills and boundaries
Young children are still developing the skills needed to:
- Share and take turns
- Express feelings appropriately
- Solve problems
- Understand others’ perspectives
- Build friendships
- Cope with disappointment and frustration
These skills take time, support, patience, and consistent teaching.
Our approach
We:
- Support all children with empathy and respect
- Teach appropriate and positive behaviours
- Help children learn emotional regulation and social skills
- Encourage problem-solving and communication
- Model inclusive language and respectful interactions
- Work collaboratively with families and professionals when needed
- Focus on guidance and teaching rather than judgement or punishment
We believe every child deserves opportunities to learn, grow, and belong.
Conversations about differences
Children are naturally curious and may notice differences between themselves and others. They may ask questions such as:
- “Why can’t they talk?”
- “Why are they in a wheelchair?”
- “Why do they do things differently?”
We view these moments as valuable opportunities for learning, empathy, and inclusion. We encourage respectful conversations that help children understand that everybody is different and that differences are a normal and important part of our community.
Educators support children to:
- Ask questions respectfully
- Understand that people communicate, move, learn, and play in different ways
- Develop empathy and acceptance
- Learn inclusive ways to interact and play together
- Offer support, kindness, and friendship to others
We teach children to focus on what everyone can do, rather than what they may find challenging. Through positive guidance and open conversations, children learn that all people deserve respect, inclusion, and opportunities to participate.
By helping children understand diversity from an early age, we are building caring, compassionate, and inclusive future communities.
Inclusion matters
Excluding children from play, conversations, parties, or friendships can have a significant impact on their confidence, wellbeing, and sense of belonging. Inclusive environments help children develop:
- Empathy
- Acceptance of differences
- Confidence
- Emotional intelligence
- Respect for others
- Strong social connections
When children learn that everyone is welcome and valued, they develop lifelong attitudes of kindness and understanding.
How families can support inclusion
Families can support positive peer relationships by:
- Speaking respectfully about all children and families
- Encouraging empathy and kindness
- Avoiding labels or assumptions
- Helping children understand that everyone learns differently
- Talking about feelings and appropriate ways to respond
- Encouraging inclusive play and friendships
- Trusting educators to support children through challenges
Celebrating birthdays inclusively
We love celebrating children’s birthdays at kindergarten. If families choose to provide cupcakes, party bags, or special items to share with the group, we kindly ask that enough is provided for all children in attendance.
This helps us promote inclusion, fairness, and a sense of belonging for every child. We encourage celebrations that focus on sharing, kindness, and community rather than exclusion or comparison.
Working Together
We understand that seeing children experience conflict or difficult moments can be concerning. Please know that educators are committed to supporting all children safely and respectfully while teaching positive social and emotional skills.
Together, we can create a community where children feel safe, accepted, included, and supported as they learn and grow.
Rebecca Marshall is the co-writer and illustrator of The Hoot Hoot Way and co-creator of The Together Wood Forest program, developed in collaboration with early childhood expert Janine Appleby.