If you have ever sat down to talk to a young child about body safety and felt your mouth go dry, you are not alone.
Most of us want to have this conversation. We know it matters. We know the research — that children who have clear, confident language about their bodies and their rights are better protected, better able to speak up, and more likely to tell a trusted adult if something feels wrong.
And yet we hesitate.
We worry about saying the wrong thing. About planting fear where there wasn't any. About using words they're not ready for or explaining more than they asked. We tell ourselves we'll do it soon, when the moment is right, when they're a little older.
The moment rarely arrives on its own.
This post is about how to start — simply, gently, and in a way that feels natural for both of you.
Why early childhood is exactly the right time
Children aged three to six are in what researchers call a critical window for body safety education. They are curious about bodies, comfortable asking questions, and not yet carrying the self-consciousness that makes these conversations harder in later years.
They are also, statistically, at the highest risk. The majority of child sexual abuse occurs before age eight. Children who have not been given language for their bodies, their rights, and safe versus unsafe touch are less equipped to recognise when something is wrong — and far less likely to tell anyone.
Starting early is not about alarming children. It is about giving them information they deserve to have, in the same matter-of-fact way we teach them to look both ways before crossing the road.
The words matter more than you think
One of the most important things you can do is use the correct anatomical names for body parts.
This feels uncomfortable for many adults. We've grown up with euphemisms — bits, privates, willy, flower — and those words feel softer, more appropriate for small children.
But the research is clear. Children who know the correct names for their genitals are more easily understood if they disclose abuse, more likely to be taken seriously, and better equipped to describe exactly what happened to them. Correct anatomical language also signals to a child that their body is not shameful or secret — it is simply a body, with parts that have names, just like their elbow or their knee.
You don't need to make a lesson of it. Start by using the words naturally, the same way you'd name any other body part during bath time or getting dressed.
Four concepts every young child should understand
Body safety education doesn't need to be a formal lesson. It is a set of ideas, introduced simply, returned to often, and reinforced through daily life. These are the four that matter most.
Your body belongs to you. No one has the right to touch your body without your permission. Not a family member, not a friend, not an adult in authority. This concept is the foundation of everything else.
Private parts are private. The parts of your body covered by your swimsuit are your private parts. They are yours. If anyone touches them or asks to see them in a way that feels wrong, that is not okay.
Safe touch and unsafe touch feel different. Not all touch is the same. Safe touch feels comfortable — a hug you wanted, a hand to hold, a doctor's check-up with a parent present. Unsafe touch feels wrong, uncomfortable, or secret. Children are allowed to trust that feeling.
You can always tell a trusted adult. If something happens that feels wrong — even if someone told you to keep it secret, even if you think you might be in trouble — you can always tell. A trusted adult will listen and help. Secrets about bodies are always okay to share.
How to bring it into daily life
The most effective body safety education doesn't happen in one big conversation. It happens in small moments, returned to regularly, until the ideas become part of how a child understands their world.
Some of the easiest entry points:
Bath time and getting dressed. These are natural moments to name body parts, talk about privacy, and establish that certain parts of the body are their own.
When they say no to a hug. If a child doesn't want to hug someone — even a grandparent, even you — honour it. Say out loud: your body belongs to you and you get to decide. You are teaching them their no means something.
After a doctor's appointment. Talk about the difference between a doctor checking their body with a parent present and touch that is unsafe. Name the difference clearly.
When you read together. Picture books that introduce body safety concepts give children language and a shared reference point. A child who has met Miss Owl and knows the Hoot Hoot Way has words for these ideas before they ever need them.
What to do if a child discloses something
This deserves its own post — and it will get one. But briefly: if a child tells you something that concerns you, stay calm, thank them for telling you, don't ask leading questions, and contact the appropriate authority. Your response in that moment shapes whether they will speak up again.
The fact that you are reading this post means you are the kind of adult who is thinking about this. That matters.
The thing we tell ourselves that isn't quite true
Many parents and educators hold back from body safety conversations because they don't want to take away a child's innocence.
It's worth sitting with that.
The children who are harmed are not harmed because someone talked to them too early about their bodies and their rights. They are harmed in silence, in confusion, often because no one gave them the words to understand what was happening or the permission to say it out loud.
Knowing that your body belongs to you is not the end of innocence.
It is a form of safety that travels with a child everywhere they go.
A note on picture books as an entry point
For many families and early childhood settings, a picture book is the most natural way in.
A story does something a direct conversation can't always do — it creates a shared reference point, gives children characters to identify with, and opens a conversation without putting them on the spot. A child who has heard Miss Owl talk about safe and unsafe touch, who knows the words to The Hoot Hoot Way Safety song, who has sat in a circle and talked about the characters — that child has a framework before they ever need it.
The Hoot Hoot Way was written to be exactly this kind of entry point. It introduces body safety concepts with warmth and care, in language children aged three to seven can hold, without frightening them or making their bodies feel shameful.
It also includes a page called Educators Should Never — a visible commitment to the standards every child deserves from every adult in their care. When that page is read aloud in a room, something happens. Children receive it. They understand, in whatever way a four or five year old understands significant things, that someone has thought carefully about them.
If you are looking for a place to start this conversation — with your class, your child, or both — The Hoot Hoot Way is available here.
It is the beginning of a language. The rest follows naturally.
Rebecca Marshall is the cowriter and illustrator of The Hoot Hoot Way and cocreator of the Together Wood Forest program, developed in collaboration with early childhood expert Janine Appleby. The Hoot Hoot Way is in use in early childhood settings across Australia.